So its all back to where it began, but this time its different. This time the clock has stopped for me and refuses to ‘move on’. This time i feel the stagnant pains of irreversible emotions and the constant reminders of how it is going to be hard and impossible. I am cold not because of the winter but because of how raw my feelings are, I am tired not because sleep refuses to come but because the knots of my life are even more complicated than before.
Wishes, desires,hopes and dreams.. we all have them. But none of us dare have a contingency plan for ourselves when we see either one or all of them crash down in front of us in the form of reality. When the time comes, we all run away like cowards and even though at that time we are facing reality it is of no use. It is like shrouding the dead .. inside the coffin the dead person watches the dirt being shoved in to his face but could do nothing about it.
However the pains that come along fighting to live with reality is just unbearable. Nobody knows why, everyone has a different reason but everyone share a unanimous amount of pain and sorrow. If and only If it was so easy to explain every single bit of pain and grief one goes through during such periods, I mean it I would have been a nobel prize winner.
Everyone is an artist of their own expression of pain.. it is an art afterall. Either you keep it inside or you let it out in words,colors,designs etc… who knows? In the end of the day its just you who understands the intensity and the core source of that agony.
Everything in this life comes with a stopwatch, with every passing second, the time is reduced until it reached the time zero… and thats when we realize we actually did nothing but look at the pleasures of it and made nothing out of it. At that time,all the efforts and cries just end up being rated as NIL or N/A because at that time you realize what you lost and what you earned..
Gagged and roped as I have been, I am, however not afraid to vent out my feelings. These feelings are afresh now as they had been a while ago, nobody’s responsible, nobody would ever be. Iam not either. Life isnt either, sometimes there is no cause or a reason behind every bad thing, maybe things are just meant to be what they are now and what they will become or make of us in the future.