Inked..

Gagged..!

Salamalaikum-

As much as i want to get over so many things, its just hard to forget them so quickly. And im sure its not a problem IN me, its not even a problem, it is something not in anyone’s hands.
While some may conquer their will and heart and adjust to any new situation they are in, it takes time or maybe years to get over many things for others.

Its been one month, since i left dubai * for a short trip* and 6 months since i officially left dubai * that is completely shifted to US permanently* . Getting used to the surroundings isnt easy and yet here iam, working part time ,going haywire about my studies, applying,getting accepted then again applying and yet the time goes by…

So basically one fine day, things go wrong. Wrong in the sense, the mobile plan wasnt really my cup of tea and yet it was ENFORCED on me. Well, i understand… i never LIVED in this place, i dont KNOW the trends.. in short im stupid, idiot and a noob in many things, okay i get it..

however it will take for the day to show stars to mark me wrong in mobile phones. I definely have enough IDEA and KNOWLEDGE about mobile phones like anyone else. So basically forcing me to get a TEXTING phone that has a QWERTY keyboard and that too which is of LG’s.. i know where my experience is heading to..

well that pretty much was the last straw and thats where it began. I presume, im becoming a chronic depressed 19 yr old who completely has nothing else to do but cry,wail,become silent and act insolent to everyone around her.

But then, im not someone without hope. My hope lies and always will lie [insHAllah] in my Lord, my Allah, my RUB ! Who has helped me at times when I expected no help and became my source of strength at times when I myself had no strength.

In this mess, i dont want to blame the ppl responsible for it but atleast I have the right to ask for my own independence , my own life that I was used to. Being mature enough to make some of my decisions,definitely does not allow anyone to make it for me *except my parents* and it does not oblige me to bow down to any thing forced on me.

Why wouldnt anyone become a psychotic,depressed ,emo and a maniac in such situations?Why..wouldnt they?

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